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It has been quiet around here, because I am extremely busy at the moment. I’ll be back when thing quiet down. In the meantime, something small…

A few days ago I read something about people putting their lives on hold until they achieve X (move, marry, get a job, etc) and I got pulled back in time. For a while I had put certain things on hold "until I convert". This seems to be something many converts do, I’ve often heard plans from other people that start with "after my conversion". But then more and more time passes, life happens around you and suddenly you realise how long it has been!

In my case the realisation was about a year ago and I have now decided to stop waiting. I was waiting because I was afraid of destroying my chances of converting. And because I felt I had no right to do some things as a not-quite-Jew. But I have decided that if it is G-d’s will that I convert, then I will convert. Next year or in 20 years. But I cannot spend my life waiting for it. So, I’m living my life now, I’m not making my life conditional on the uncertain (if ever?) date of my conversion. I’m done waiting.